


In a Minute...

by happyaspie



Series: Peter Parker Omo Files [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Family Feels, Fluff, I reject your cannon and substitute my own, Omorashi, Peter is stubborn as hell, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, tony is Trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 17:39:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17902556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyaspie/pseuds/happyaspie
Summary: In which, Tony takes Peter out to a themed dinner show and Peter doesn't want to miss any of it causing him to become rather desperate and Tony to become rather exasperated with his stubborn kid.





	In a Minute...

**Author's Note:**

> I know I sort of fell off the map there for a good minute but I'm back. Had some family drama followed by a lack of computer but ya know... life. I hope to get some more good ideas rolling soon.

After much begging and pleading Peter had finally convinced Tony to take him to the Medieval Joust Dinner and Tournament and oh my God, it was everything he hoped it would be. They had only just walked into the lobby of the faux Castle with its giant fireplace burning in the corner, shiny suits of armor, colorful banners and staff all dressed in themed costumes, but Peter was already giddy with excitement. 

 

Tony was... less excited by the 'overrated tourist trap' and more intrigued by his protege's obvious delight.  Smiling and nodding his head as the kid pointed out every single detail that had gone into the costumes and atmosphere.  However, for all of the kid's excitement, all Tony could think about was that he would be eating dinner in a place that smelled like horse. _Fun._ He wasn't going to give him a hard thing though, the kid had been looking forward to this for _weeks_ after Tony finally broke and agreed to they could go as soon as he got back from his business trip to Hong Kong.

 

Having time to kill before the doors opened to allow patrons to sit at their tables, Tony headed straight for the bar.  He had been doing better with his drinking.  He hardly ever had anything more than a social glass of wine or the occasional beer.  Tonight, though, Tony felt like he has earned at least one small drink just for _being_ there.  So, he ordered himself an overpriced cup of mediocre beer and got the kid a novelty glass of some virgin fruity slush that the bartender had recommended.  

 

Peter Happily sipped at the drink Tony had gotten him while bouncing around looking through the gift shop and reading all of the various plaques that had information on the different armors, flags, and paintings along the walls.  Tony followed along tossing in a comment here and there as he slowly drank his own drink.  At some point, there was an announcement that there was to be a knighting ceremony.  Tony rolled his eyes as the 'King' knighted a kid that couldn't have been any more than six.  "Hey, Pete, we should see about you getting knighted.  Sir Spidey has a nice ring to it doesn't?", the man said with a small amused laugh.  He wasn't expecting the kid to react the way he did, which only made him laugh harder. 

 

The kid's eyes practically lit up "Are you serious Mr. Stark!?  That would be _awesome_!"

 

"Yeah well, I hardly think we can get away with that and still keep your secret identity secret so... maybe Sir Underroos instead hmm?"

 

"Awe come on Tony.  Sir Peter Parker, Knight of the Realm sounds _awesome_ and you _know it._ "  

 

The kid was grinning now and Tony couldn't resist because if having a stupid piece of paper that said he was Sir Peter Parker, Knight of the Realm, made the kid happy, then he was just as happy to make it happen. So, that's how he ended up taking a ridiculous number of pictures of his kid with a fake king being given a fake titl...and if one of those pictures ended up framed and in his office well, no one really needed to know.

 

It wasn't long after the knighting ceremonies that they announced that seating would begin soon.  Tony decided to take that last few minutes to get himself another beer and refill the kid's novelty cup.  That took up just enough time for them to begin calling people into the arena by their designated color.  At Tony's insistence, they were placed in the Red Knight's section. _Because if he was going to wear a stupid_ _paper crown it sure as Hell wasn't going to be blue._  

 

Once in their seats, the waitress came by and talked about the menu that consisted of soup, chicken, corn on the cob, potatoes and an apple fritter and poured them each a glass of tea.  Soon after, the lights dimmed and the first horses came out.  In all of his excitement, Peter latched onto Tony's arm, much like a small child would do to their father, proclaiming this to be the _best night ever_.  

 

Peter was just finishing his second drink from the bar and starting to work on his cup of tea when it occurred to him that he probably should have gone to the bathroom before the show started because they were only about thirty minutes into the two-hour show and he already kind of needed to go. _Crap._ It was too late for that now though.  The knights were already beginning to compete and the food was starting to be delivered.  If he left now he would miss it and he had been waiting entirely too long get to come here just to miss part of it because of some stupid liquid.  _Nope._ He would just have to hold it now.

 

When the bowl of soup had been placed in front of Tony he tasted it with some hesitation but despite the horse smell in the air, the food was actually really good.  He finished his bowl and started pulling apart the chicken while glancing over at his kid who was completely captivated by the horses and their riders.  It didn't take long for him to notice the kid shifting around in his seat and even less time for him to notice the kid's leg was shaking in place under the table.  The man huffed a sigh and leaned over so Peter could hear him over the roar of the crowd and the booming announcer, "Just go, Kid"

 

Never taking his eyes off of the show Peter replied with a quick, "I don't know what you're talking about"

 

Tony rolled his eyes, "Really?  You're just going to sit there and pretend that I can't tell that you need to pee?"

 

Still not taking his eyes off the show, "I mean, I guess _do_ need to pee but I don't want to miss anything.  I'll go in a minute."

 

"Whatever you say, kid, it's your bladder.", Tony said shrugging his shoulders, turning back to his meal.

 

Still, the man couldn't ignore it for long.  It had definitely been longer than a minute.  In fact, Tony would venture to say it had been at _least_ thirty minutes and the kid was still squirming in the seat beside him.  "Seriously, Kiddo, _go to the bathroom._ It'll take you like three minutes."

 

"I, I will in, just, just a minute.  This is the good part.  They're going to start the actual jousting now.  I can't just, just _miss that._ "

 

In reality, Peter knew that he really, _really_ should get up and do as the man said.  He looked down at his watch.  Yep, there was still forty-five minutes left.  Even he couldn't deny that he wouldn't be able to hold it that long but he could wait a _little_ longer.  So, Despite the fact that his bladder was urgently pleading for release he remained seated.  Just for a minute, he told himself, Just long enough to see the first round of jousting, then he would go.  Surely he could wait _that_ long.

 

Several minutes later, Tony was done with his dinner and was starting to sip on some of the offered coffee, while keeping an eye on the obviously desperate and undeniably stubborn child sitting beside him.  At this point Tony was no longer even following the loosely formed plot of the show, instead, he was trying to figure out how to get his ornery child to just get up and use the damn bathroom.  There was no way in Hell the kid was going to be able to make it another twenty-five minutes without pissing himself silly on the seat.  He was already crossing his legs and Tony couldn't be sure in the dim lighting, but he thought the boy's eyes also looked a little glossy with the threat of tears.  "Pete, for the love of God, _go pee_.  I'll _tell you_ what happens in the three whole minutes that you're gone.  OKay?"

 

Peter thought about it.  He knew that his body was almost at its limit but he just didn't want to get up and go.  He decided to try and negotiate, "I just, I don't, I mean, I want to _actually_ see it.  You, You're Tony stark, can't you, I mean, couldn't you just--"

 

"--Kid, I can do a lot of things for you, stopping a live show so that you can have a potty break isn't one of them."

 

Then the kid pouted.  He honest to God pouted and all Tony could do was pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh out of pure frustration.  

 

Once his mentor had put a roadblock on his last ditch effort to not miss any of the action he gingerly stood up in an effort to not jostle his overfilled and very sensitive bladder before rushing up the stairs and through the large double doors. Once back out in the lobby, he stood there, legs crossed bouncing in place as he scanned the area for the location of the closest bathroom.  Much to Peter's embarrassment and relief, a staff member noticed him and pointed him in the right direction.  Thankfully it was just around the corner and there wasn't far to go.  

 

As he entered the bathroom he could feel the first few drops of urine leak out and absorb into his boxers. That only strengthened his resolve to hurry along into the closest stall only to find that he couldn't get it to lock.  Growling in frustration he moved on to the next stall, this delaying him just long enough to lose a very small spurt, further dampening his underwear but thankfully leaving no outward signs of his momentary loss of control. 

 

Finally, behind the privacy of a securely locked stall door, Peter was able to free himself from his damp clothing and finally relieve himself like his body had been begging him to do for the last hour and a half.  As the thunderous stream poured into the toilet before him it almost felt like it would never end.  Then, just as he was starting to get annoyed with himself for having what seemed to be a marathon pee while missing the last twenty or so minutes of jousting his stream dwindled into a trickle before it came to a stop, a shiver running up his spine.  s _uch a relief_

Tony watched as Peter bounced down the steps towards their seats looking much lighter and undoubtedly more comfortable than when he has left.  He also noted that his kid was smiling, indicating that more than likely he had made it to the toilet in time to avoid any major mishaps.  _Excellent._ Once Peter was sitting down Tony leaned over to fill him in as promised.  "You didn't miss much, Kid, the blue knight and the yellow knight hit each other with big ass sticks while riding horses and then they fought with swords until the yellow night pretended to die...looks like our knight is up next", he said point to the cardboard crown still sitting on his head.

 

Peter looked at his mentor and laughed.  "A big a-...really Tony?  It's called a _lance."_

 

The man just smirked.  "Whatever."

 

Once the show was over Tony noted that Peter was stupidly excited to have his crown signed by the 'king' and the 'knights' making him want to roll his eyes, but he didn't.  Instead, he allowed himself to be dragged by the hand, no less, out into the lobby before bringing them both to a halt in front of the bathroom.  "Hold your horses there, young buck... I need to take a leak first.", he said with a wink. 

 

He  _had_ drunk two cups of beer and a glass of tea, he totally felt justified in causing the holdup but fully expected Peter to protest however he didn't.  He waited patiently outside for his dad-er-mentor to return.  After which they went and got their crowns signed before exiting through the gift shop where he bought the kid and authentic looking sword and shield that he was _pretty sure_ May was going to yell at him about later.  Yet, the look on Peter's face was more than enough to make it totally worth it.  

 

Sure, the place had reeked of horses and he was definitely going to be hearing about that sword from May, but even so, maybe his kid was right.  Maybe this was the _best night ever._  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
